To Kim, “it means that he jumped into a relationship without realizing the responsibilities that came along with it.” Marie agrees.“What he really means is, 'I just want to party and have a lot of sex with a lot of different women,'” she says.“He didn’t want to date me anymore, so he made up a really dumb excuse,” she says.This guy is also pretexting good intentions to cover up the fact that he isn’t interested in your relationship.You are not right for him and this is easier to say than, “I don’t like you.” Shira Kipnees, a senior at Franklin & Marshall College, knows this bogus one-liner all too well.When her ex-boyfriend broke up with her (over Skype!he just would rather be single than be with you,” she explains.“My ex told me that I had a lot of potential and he was 'bringing me down by distracting me from my schoolwork! Aja's interpretation is that “he wanted a guilt-free way to break up, so he was trying to convince both of us he was a negative influence on me.” Bottom line, a guy who uses this excuse is looking for the easy way out.
Laura*, a senior at Yale, went through a bad breakup when her boyfriend blamed her for her “maturity,” when really it sounds like his have some growing up to do.It is not the place where people tend to be the most honest, so don't make too much of what is said.” There are endless reasons to break up with someone, but there are four main reasons why someone won’t tell the truth when breaking up with you, Sharp says: “They want to hurt you, they want to protect you (not hurt you), they don't want to make themselves vulnerable or they are pretty confused and don't know themselves.” “These excuses really mean that either they are simply not ready for a relationship or there is no love connection,” Smith says.Either way, don’t sit around waiting for your ex to come around.Someone who gives you this line is either too lazy to come up with a legitimate reason or too much of a coward to be honest. According to Lieberman, this is yet another commonplace excuse guys give you instead of telling you the truth. Kim* who just graduated from The College of William & Mary, describes a relationship she had: “He was moving a bit fast in the beginning, but I slowed things down because I didn't want to rush into anything,” she says.Although he may very well still be hung up on his ex, if he liked you enough, this wouldn’t be a problem. “And then a month after we became official, he broke it off with the excuse: 'I thought I was ready, but I realized I'm actually not ready to have a girlfriend.'" Talk about ironic!
You're in a relationship, and it's finally working out. until he breaks up with you because “your lives are going in different directions” or you're just “so much more mature” than him. His meaningless excuse sounds like it came straight out of a bad rom-com, and it leaves you stranded and confused.