You are suddenly hyper-aware that everything you own is either a mini-dress, cut-off shorts, a cut-out dress, dangerously low-cut, ripped, stained or cropped.
Whenever you feel brave wearing a blazer, you look more like a naughty school girl who got kicked out of boarding school than you do a real grown-up.
Your idea of a fully realized meal is a protein bar and two sugar-free Red Bulls.
Suddenly, you are shackled with the fear that you’re really unhealthy — I mean, how are you even alive?
The sudden presence of a real adult in our worlds puts a tiny pinprick in the shiny pink balloon we call home.
Suddenly, reality crystallizes into our frame of vision.
You can hardly pay your rent on time; you live in dire fear of the credit card decline, yet you have more sparkly eye shadow than David Bowie did in his prime.
We try to seamlessly fit into our grown-up lovers' strict adult routines, stifling our party girl impulses in order to be cohesive to their more “responsible” lives…adults wash their eye makeup off before bed, and you, party girl, just keep adding to it.You’ve either burned a bridge with a bartender, know too many questionable characters or have kissed too many of the people you will surely encounter (this is why I will never take a new date to the West Village). That moment when you’re walking into a new bar with your new lover, and the bouncer stops to say “hi” and ask you “how you felt after last Saturday night.”You look at him with big, crazy, vacant eyes and reply: “Uh, excuse me, kind sir, have we met…? When you’re partying with your friends, you miss the stable, fulfilling conversations and civilized dinners you share with your hot grown-up lover — yet when you’re with them, it takes everything in you not to go into a serious state of FOMO.So what happens when the quintessential party girl finds herself falling for a living, breathing grown-up? It’s a fascinating-yet-terrifying experience that unexpectedly holds a mirror up to our reckless lives.As chronic avoiders, we’re just not used to seeing things as they are.
She identifies as a "mascara lesbian" and lives beyond her means on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.