) be slowly roasted in a stew of his own fedoras, watched over by the legions of women who have to try to figure out why this person who ostensibly wants to date them just called them “pretty but not in an intimidating way.”1.
The Neg For the blissfully unacquainted, to “neg” someone is to basically insult her while pretending to compliment her.
The format is simple: Here are a few examples: Though the message is short, it creates a commonality and allows for a dialogue to easily start.
Of course, finding your own tone and voice will definitely help too.
When a little message popped up in the bottom right-hand corner of my screen saying “Hello, tall girl,” I screamed. I say “around” because I deleted so many of them immediately (having them sit in my inbox felt contaminating) that I cannot report with scientific precision the exact count. I actually think it makes me decidedly un-special, because to many of the messages’ authors I was clearly no more than one more female-looking thing who might be intrigued by the dashing brevity of a message reading only “sup?
I had myself signed in to chat accidentally, because I didn’t even realize it was there. In a month on Ok Cupid, I received around 130 messages.
May God have mercy on our souls, and may whoever invented the backhanded compliment as flirting tactic (damn you, popular MTV pickup artist Mystery!I’ve been doing the whole online dating thing on and off for years now and let me just say, I’ve had the entire range of good, bad and ugly messages arrive in my inbox.There was a time I even created a blog to showcase some of the best of the worst because I felt the world should share in the horror with me.Here’s the deal with the messaging thing, a lot of people have their own theories on how it works, what works best, etc. Others try pick-up-artist “negging.” Some send ridiculously long messages about their background and their overall philosophy and what they’re currently doing with their lives.Some guys think that it’s cool to copy and paste and throw out a message like bait in a lake full of carp. I’d like to say there’s no right or wrong way to message someone (everyone usually has something that works for them), but there is definitely a better way.
This will help spark an idea about where to take the message.