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Bars are full of people who are sexually attractive and who are also not your partner.Part of me was able to picture a moment of temporary insanity in which I'd grab Lebowski, pull him into a booth, and ruin my entire life.It's a bar for slightly older indie rockers who may or may not be on mood-stabilizing medication.

All of them were looking for love — or whatever rough approximation of it that they could fit in between work, family, and some surprisingly contentious PTA meetings — but my mother had one friend who seemed to be looking a little harder than everyone else.And so, when I was asked to go to some of New York City's top hookup bars by myself for the sake of this experiment, I took all of those complicated (and, frankly, embarrassing) feelings along with me. Stay for a minimum of 20 minutes or one beer; whichever comes first. I have many (or at least several) good qualities, but appearing approachable is not one of them.Even when I was very actively single, coming off as hateful and unapproachable has always kind of been my "brand." I have an affliction just a hair worse than Resting Bitch Face, which I think of as "Resting Murderer Face." Here I am trying to appear friendly and relaxed inside my own home: And so I Googled the second-saddest phrase I have ever Googled in my life: "How to look more approachable at bars." (The saddest phrase I have ever googled was "Is Mad About You streaming?The idea of bars being a minefield of temptation was messed up, but infinitely more thrilling than the idea of a bar as a minefield of rejection.Choice Yelp Quote: "Now that I'm not in my early 20s anymore, this environment is more annoying than entertaining." What Happened: Remember that thing I said about bars being a minefield of temptation rather than humiliation? I walked into Joshua Tree, settled down at the only open seat I could find, and ordered my beer.

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Her name was Lydia, and her drive for companionship seemed to make her a bit of a pariah among the singles mixer crew (all of whom were legit looking for second husbands like it was their second job).

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